Updates from May, 2009 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • greatgrannybee2008 11:16 am on May 24, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

    OUR CHURCH Will Be Perfect…….. 

    Our Church Will Be Perfect When We Hear……..
     
    1. "Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew."
     
    2. "I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went twenty-five minutes overtime."
     
    3."Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf."
     
    4. "I dearly want to be a teacher in the junior high Sunday school class."
     
    5. "Forget the denominational minimum salary;  let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do."
     
    6. "I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before."
     
    7."Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early."
     
    8."Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign."
     
    9."Pastor, we’d like to send you to this continuing education seminar in the Bahamas."
     
    10."I’ve decided to give our church the five-hundred dollars a month I used to send to TV evangelists."
     
    • Beth 1:45 pm on May 24, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      I like this post very much!

    • J W 1:54 pm on May 24, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      You have touched my Christian heart faster than anyone I\’ve ever been distant friends with on Spaces. I could not agree more; people that look at the clock during church should have stayed at home. I\’ll leave you with one of my favorite verses..Mat. 7:1. Continue in blissful grace my new sister.John

    • J W 1:56 pm on May 24, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      My comment about those that "clock watch during church was NOT passing judgement, just seeing with my own eyes the example others set before us. Wanted to clear that up.John

    • Nina's 5:40 pm on May 24, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Fabulous. Think its called God lead.

    • Joe 9:21 pm on May 24, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Oh that sounds like a dream come true to me!

    • Rambling 7:07 pm on May 25, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Then, whomp up a batch of biscuits..pass the orange blossom honey and just set that stick of yellow butter right here by my plate.

    • Here I Am 1:05 pm on May 26, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Hi Sorry haven\’t been by so long hard to get time to visit everyone these days. Not a church goer myself. My church is the great outdoors and it never bores me. But the power of people getting together can be wonderful if it were under the conditions above. Take Care Carrie

    • JaeElle 12:28 am on May 29, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Fantastic post! We\’d have a perfect church, indeed.

    • Margaret 1:06 pm on May 30, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Vey beautiful post,now we know what is awaiting us when we see Christ!!The perfect church!Hugs Margaret

  • greatgrannybee2008 2:04 pm on May 23, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

    Saturday’s Church Jokes 

       Seating Survey
           
            Dear Congregant:
            Many of you have expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the church.
    In order for your church office to place you in a seat that will best suit you, please complete
    the following questionnaire and return it to the office.
     
    I would prefer to sit in the:
      ____Talking/whispering section
      ____No talking section
     
    If talking which subcategory do you prefer?
       ____Stock market____Sports
       ____Aches/Pains ____ Gossip
     
     
    Which of the following would you like to be near so that you might receive free professional advice?
     
        ____ Lawyer ____ Physician
        ____ Accountant ____Beautician ____Stockbroker
     
     I want a seat located:
       ____ Near my in-laws    _____Far from my in-laws  ____ Far from my ex-in-laws
     
     I wish to be seated in a seat where:
      ____I can sleep during the preliminaries   ____ I can sleep during the sermon (additional charge)
     
    • Beth 2:37 pm on May 23, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      LOL. This is great!!

    • Babblelot 2:48 pm on May 23, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      This is too funny!

    • J W 3:12 pm on May 23, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      You have a wonderful and most interesting space my fellow Tennessean. My current post is this old hillbilly\’s attempt at humor so I hope you don\’t think I\’m crazy….grin. Hope you accept my invitation of a hand stretched towards friendship on this most amazing domain. Continue in grace good woman.John

    • Sanjana 4:41 pm on May 23, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      for me the talking/ whispering section and gossip will do fine…………….and ofcourse can you rig in sleep during the sermon as well?

    • Angel eyes 6:30 pm on May 23, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      funny but sadly often true angel eyes

    • Connie 7:21 pm on May 23, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Funny! LOL

    • R U Serious 7:42 pm on May 23, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      I love when you post these!! That was a Great one!! I\’ll take \’Talking/Whispering\’, \’Sports\’, and \’FAR from in-laws\’!!! Hope yo\’re having a GREAT weekend and win the lottery!!!Take care, Bob~

    • GreatGranny 4:40 pm on May 24, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Hi Bob, thanks for your visit and comment….I hope your weekend is good….I did win $500…. GGA

    • Nina's 5:37 pm on May 24, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      LOL Thats so funny. We wouldn\’t get away with that in our church, we are too small at the mo.Best place is at the front I think.RegardsninaX

    • Cynical 8:41 pm on May 24, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      As a biker gang might take over a bar, the youth of the church I attended took over what would have been the choir loft of many other churches. As long as nobody screamed or actually fell over the railing onto someone below, the congregation displayed remarkable restraint and tolerance. It may have gone in my favor that the church was named St. Helen\’s, my grandmother\’s name was Helen, my mother\’s name was Helen, and my grandfather bought the church for the group even though he was not religious. Ya think?Peace, Doc

    • Joe 9:16 pm on May 24, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      LOL, what about those that like to sit and drink coffee? No place for those?

    • JaeElle 12:24 am on May 29, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      ~giggles~……this is so funny! Great post.

  • greatgrannybee2008 8:07 pm on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

    Upbeat Sunny Tuesday 

    Red roseThe sun has been shining all day way down here.
    I am feeling much better too, fever gone. ( TN son is ok too).I actually
    did a little work today. I’ve got a pot of big white butter-beans
    cooked and fried cornbread with dried onions. I think I’ll cut my
    last onion. And I’ll be heading to the kitchen very soon.
     
    Thank you all for coming by with your well wishes. You are the nicest friends
    anyone could ever hope for. I wish you all the very best.  God’s Blessings Always, My Friends,    AnnRed rose
     
     
     
    • Happy JAK 9:11 pm on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      This is wonderful news! Answered prayers. Thank you Lord that Ann is feeling much better and the fever has broken. May Ann continue to grow stronger everyday. You are Lord and nothing is impossible for You! Amen. Sounds like you had a lot of fun cooking. I\’m not the best cook in the world, it\’s funny because my son is learning in Year One about recipies and cooking them and today I had to send him with a recipie that he could talk about and in a few weeks time he has to then cook it. Heehee, I chose something very simple and fun… called Frog Prince Cookies. Keep Smiling my dear friend. God bless. Love Kerrie xoxo

    • Samantha 10:39 pm on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Hello, sounds like you had a wonderful day. I wish you many more

    • Sanjana 11:26 pm on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Good you feeling better……..Is it summer your part of the world yet? My part of the world its hot as ever and we are all getting heat rashes so we are all a scratch red mess now.

    • Angel eyes 12:43 am on May 13, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      sounds like a good day dear angel eyes

    • Joe 12:58 am on May 13, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      A sunny day and health is returning…now that\’s what I call a couple of wonderful blessings!

    • Babblelot 1:26 am on May 13, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      WooHoo that\’s great news! God bless ya!

    • jamile 7:11 am on May 13, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Great news you feeling better have another nice sunny day

    • Sue 11:18 am on May 13, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Sounds like you\’re kicking that horrible thing! Oooh, butter beans and cornbread! Sounds yummy! Have a great week!

    • Beth 12:11 pm on May 13, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      I am glad you are feeling better. I LOVE butter beans and I haven\’t cooked any in a long time. My mom used to make fried cornbread. Please tell us how you make yours.

    • Patsy 12:48 pm on May 13, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      So glad to hear you are feeling better. Ilove big white butter beans. I can just smell them and the onion and the corn bread oh my. Now I\’ve got to fix something to eat. LOL Hugs, Pat

    • Rambling 1:07 pm on May 13, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Hi Sweetie. We\’re from the South..so I\’m bringing my bowl for them beans!!! Love \’em.

    • Touch 2:57 pm on May 13, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      I just found this whie taking a break from anti-scumbag duty. Are the beans done yet? I\’m starving and I ain\’t had fried cornbread in YEARS!

    • Connie 1:07 am on May 16, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Glad to hear you\’re feeling better. Shingles just don\’t sound like much fun. Butter beans just aren\’t my thing, now the cornbread…that\’s a different story, especially with a bit of sorghum on it.

    • Rambling 8:38 pm on May 17, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      You and I both have the same MSN kitty blog going. Don\’t you love it? Soon as I found it in the choices I got it for me a year or so ago. Glad another cat person has it too. Love the profile picture. Hi, Miss Kassey.

    • Here I Am 4:10 am on May 18, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Hi Been along time since I have stopped in. Still trying to catch up on everyone after 3 months of falling behind. Glad you are feeling better. That fried cornbread with dried onions sounds yummy.. Hope your week stays sunny in everyway.

    • Christine 8:57 am on May 19, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Im comming for dinner!! Hope you are feeling better

    • Patsy 11:09 am on May 19, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      So glad to hear you are feeling better, can I come over for lunch? I love butter beans. Enjoy your day and continue to feel good. Hugs, Pat

    • Sue 11:29 am on May 19, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Great news that you\’re feeling better! Hope you can get out and enjoy the weather for a while too!

    • Rambling 2:24 pm on May 21, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Just stopping by..hope all is well.

    • Grandma's 2:52 pm on May 22, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      I, too, hope all is well with you.**Sending you great Big Hugs**

    • JaeElle 12:19 am on May 29, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      So sorry to see you were ill, but so glad to know you are feeling better now. Wishing you better days ahead. Mmmmm……looks like I\’m way too late for dinner. Sure sounds yummy!

  • greatgrannybee2008 10:41 pm on May 11, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

    Dreary Sad Monday Down Here 

    It’s dreary outside today and I have fever . I have one more VALTREX to take for the shingles.
    My online  Best friend sent me the lovliest  roses I’ve ever seen.  This was a day brightener, for sure .
     My sweet children gave me  gifts in person and called as well to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. 
     
    My TN son gave me a  pretty card  as well. I talked to him last night and he said he was hurting all over. I hope he doesn’t have
    this dreadful Flu and I hope I don’t either. This was my first thought when  I checked my temp. I seldom have a cold and don’t recall when
    I had the Flu last.
     
    Kassey loves the roses too so I have them on the mantle in my bedroom. It is cluttered to the max, so maybe she won’t try
    to jump that high… yeah right…lol   She’s in there now looking so innocent. 
     
     Kassey has a new blog on her space (Ms.Kitty’s space).
    I’ve tried to keep these spaces separate, but I forget which one I’m on…….LOL      Ms CATT is mentioned , Rambling On.  I do hope she’s feeling better.  I’ll be going to bed early tonight and I think Kassey is waiting for me too.
    Goodnight to all and I hope a safe one. ….God’s Blessings Always To My Friends Wherever You Are.Red rose
     
    • Happy JAK 10:49 pm on May 11, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Sending healing prayers. How wonderful when we make a space friend that becomes a wonderful friendship of love and care in the heart. I\’m so happy you have a space friend you love and trust and was able to brighten up your day by sending you flowers. Hope you manage plenty of time for rest and no stress. God bless. Love, Kerrie xoxo

    • Lisa R. 10:54 pm on May 11, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Hope you get to feeling better soon GG!! Your friend, Lisa.

    • Lady Jude 11:10 pm on May 11, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Shingles you poor thing. I remember having those and they are painful, could only sleep on one side for a few months. They didn\’t have anything for them in my day. Look after yourself. Hugs Lady Jude

    • Beth 11:14 pm on May 11, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      I got the vaccine to prevent shingles last year. I know they are very painful as my sister has had them. Feel better soon.

    • Joe 11:17 pm on May 11, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Sorry you\’re feeling under the weather my friend. I have heard that shingles is truly miserable. Get well soon!

    • Rambling 11:23 pm on May 11, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Honey I hope you and Miss Catt get better soon. 🙂

    • Babblelot 11:27 pm on May 11, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      I am so sorry to hear you\’re not well. yer in my prayers. Wonderful you saw your kids and even on the phone. I bet those flowers smell so pretty.

    • Grandma's 11:29 pm on May 11, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Poor you, I can relate to how miserable you must be feeling. Hubby had them last year and he was in so much pain. Apparently if you catch them early, there is a medicine that will stop it in its tracks. We suspected shingles with hubby….but when we went down to the clinic some idiot doctor diagnosed him with ring worm and gave a topical cream for that. By the next day it was obvious the problem was shingles and not ringworm…but it was too late to treat it other than the conventional way.Hope you feel better soon. I\’ve had to put my roses up high too….both Simba and Midnight are eyeballing them. We, too, are praying for a speedy recovery for Miss Catt.You Take CareGod Bless You*Soft, gentle Hugs*~Karin~

    • Rusty 1:18 am on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      So sorry you are still not feeling well. Here is hoping you feel better soon. Sounds like you did pretty good for Mother\’s day. Take care hun………….Rusty ((HUGS))

    • jamile 5:55 am on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      hoping you feel better soon take care happy Mother day God bless you

    • Angel eyes 6:10 am on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      cuorious kitties help angel eyes

    • ♨ gRaNt 6:36 am on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Hope you get better quickly.gRaNt

    • Miss Beth 8:20 am on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      I hope this morning you are feeling better and that you do not have the flu. The shingles are hard enough to deal with. Sounds like your Mothers Day was wonderful!!Beth

    • Terry's 8:20 am on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Hope you feel better soon dear . Too much sickness going around . Take care and God bless love and hugs Terry

    • nita 8:31 am on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      hope you feel better soon. god bless – nita

    • Patsy 9:22 am on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      I hope you are feeling better today. Glad to hear you had a good Mothers Day. you take care and thanks for being my friend. Hugs, Pat

    • Teri 9:29 am on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Get better soon!! God\’s Blessings to you!!Teri

    • Michelle 3:19 pm on May 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      May God bring healing soon!Grace to you Shell

    • Michiko's 8:20 am on May 13, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      I\’m so rry you have Singles, I heard it\’s very painful poor things I hope you have easy time for you,Big Hugs,Michiko

  • greatgrannybee2008 3:52 pm on May 6, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

    “World’s Greatest Collection of Church Jokes”,by Paul M. Miller 

    I need a  lot of laughs for other reasons besides the aggravation of the ‘Shingles’. Oh yeah, I’ve got them again for the Third time. I was waiting for my meds to be filled, and found this book. I hope you enjoy these….

                                                                                             WORLDY WEALTH

    A rich man was near death. He was grieved because he’d worked so hard for his money,and he wanted to be able to take it to heaven. An angel heard his concern and appeared to him. “Sorry, but you can’t take your wealth with you.” The man pled with the angel.

    Later the angel reappeared and told the wealthy man that he could take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man found his largest valise and filled it with gold bars.

    When he finally died and showed up in heaven, St. Peter saw the suitcase and said, “Hold on, you can’t bring that in here.”

    The man explained to St. Peter that he had permission. Sure enough, the saint checked the record and verified the man’s story. “But,”St. Peter added, “I am supposed to check the contents before letting it through.”

    So St. Peter opened the suitcase to discover what was too precious to leave behind. He couldn’t believe his eyes. “You brought pavement?”

     

                                                                                               MOMER AND MOWER

    Pastor Sampson was making visitation rounds on his trusty bicycle,when he turned a corner and came upon a young boy trying to sell a lawnmower. “How much do you want for it?” Sampson asked. “I just need enough money to buy a bicycle,”the boy explained. After a moment of thought, the preacher asked,”Will you take my bike in trade for it?” Mister,you’ve got yourself a deal.” The preacher took the mower and began to crank it. He pulled on the cord a few times with no reaction from the machine. The preacher called the boy over and said “I can’t get this mower to start.” The little boy said,”My dad says you have to cuss at it to get it started.” Pastor Sampson replied,”I am a minister and I cannot cuss. I have been saved so long I don’t remember how to cuss.”The little boy looked at him with a sparkle in his eyes, “Just keep pulling on that cord, and it’ll come back to you.”

                                                                                               

                                                                                              NEW PASTOR WARRANTY

    It has come to our attention that the pastor you received was shipped with a slight defect—he is not a psychic. Because of this, you must observe certain procedures to ensure optimum performance.

    It is necessary to inform him of prayer, the pastor must be told, or he won’t know. If you are in need of a pastoral visit, you will get best results if you ask him.

    We regret any inconvenience this may cause.

     
    • Beth 4:42 pm on May 6, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      These were all great. Thank you!

    • Joe 4:42 pm on May 6, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      LOL! Good ones!

    • Lady Jude 6:35 pm on May 6, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Well i had a good laugh. Have a good day. Hugs Lady Jude

    • Angel eyes 6:40 pm on May 6, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      very good one angel eyes

    • Connie 6:53 pm on May 6, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Good ones! Thanks for sharing.

    • Marjie 7:12 pm on May 6, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Great ! Enjoyed these x

    • .. 3:21 am on May 7, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      LOL! They\’re really funny. Thaaaanks!Take good care of you and have an excellent day. Alex xxx

    • Rambling 10:11 am on May 7, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      You have the shingles? Have you asked for the shot they have now?

    • Miss Beth 12:20 pm on May 7, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      so sorry to hear about the shingles i have never had them but hear that they are painful and just an aggrivation to say the least, hope the medicine works fast.Have a great day

    • Leona 3:56 am on May 8, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Oh these are so funny!! Thanks for the laugh. I love a funny joke…can\’t tell one straight…but I love them. Have a good weekend and Happy Mother\’s Day.

    • Michiko's 5:30 am on May 8, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      It was lovely that I needed it today, after a long time the Dog sitting (my youger son\’s dog) I felt so relax now.Thank you for sharing to us,Happy Mother\’s day 10th May.Michiko

    • Rambling 1:55 pm on May 10, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      LOVED that warranty!!! My favorite.Your fellow Southern friend.

    • Duckie 2:16 pm on May 10, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks sweetie!!!!HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.

    • Amy 3:36 pm on May 10, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Happy Mothers Day!!

    • Rosemary 10:44 am on May 11, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Really enjoyed your Blog

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